My Thanksgiving was alright. Every time I get together with my family, I get annoyed and stressed out. I�m jealous of those families who sit around at holidays and drink wine, laugh and just enjoy being around each other. My family is a bunch of nutcases.

First there�s my mom. She�s a really sweet lady, who would do anything for anyone, but she reminds me of Magda from �There�s Something About Mary.� Not physically, but remember that scene where Magda took that pill, which was meant for Puffy, her dog? And how she was running around the apartment like a maniac and couldn�t sit still? That�s my mom. I swear I think she has ADD. She can�t just sit still and carry on a relaxing conversation. She makes every one around her feel antsy and anxious.

Then there�s my uncle. He�s the biggest waste of space. He�s bossy, domineering, and basically just a miserable person. He�s constantly in a bad mood and always has the ailment du jour. This weekend he had some sort of bandage wrapped around his forearm. I didn't even ask what the deal was with that. All he does is boss people around, while he sits on his ass on the couch and doesn�t do shit, except make everyone around him miserable.

My aunt (his wife) is so submissive to him and passive, it drives me crazy. Her whole day revolves around making him happy, so he�s not pissed off. She�s trying to divert the other people around him, so as to not have him get pissed off. The reason he gets mad is always obscure, of which he only knows.